It seemed as soon as we announced our first pregnancy, the well-wishes for this “mama” started pouring in.
At first I found it adorable; “Aww, yes! I am a Mama!” I joined this awesome club of “mamas”, joined due date groups with other “mamas”, and celebrated this new addition to my identity. Mama. Today I’m over 3 years into being “Mama” and I want you to know and remember something: you are more than a Mama. You are a person first, a human being with a name that’s not “Mama”, a woman with interests and passions and dreams. “Mama” is a key part of our identities. It’s a dream I always wanted to fulfill since I was a child myself. But let’s remind ourselves often that we have other dreams, too, and that it’s okay to take time for yourself.
And by the way, my name is Lindsay.
I asked some real women how they balance this and keep from drowning in this new identity of “Mama”. Here are some suggestions if you find yourself struggling with this balance:
- Happy hour with friends
- Netflix after the kids go to bed (no kid shows!)
- Singing in a choir
- Taking a class
- Swing dancing
- Bible study
- Date night
- Getting dressed up + putting on makeup (even if you’re not going anywhere!)
- Whatever makes your soul happy & brings you joy
I genuinely enjoy being a mother, throwing myself into caring for these precious babies, devoting the vast majority of my time to ensuring they grow up to simply be good people, listened to and played with. I love holding them and snuggling them and nursing them. For me, “Mama” is the most wonderful part of my identity. But it’s just that, a “part”. It’s not the beginning and the end, it’s not the bottom line.
My name is Lindsay. I love reading and writing. I love to sing and pretend like I’m auditioning for The Voice in the car (I make my husband play, too). I like hiking and doing yoga when I get the chance, though I wish I carved out more time for those activities. I like waking up early and making coffee for the house before anyone else wakes up. Sometimes I even get to savor that first, steaming mug. I love browsing thrift stores and used bookstores.
Who are you?