My certification as a Birth & Bereavement Doula often takes a backseat to supporting “happy births,” but my colleagues and I have noticed a great need in our community for bereavement support, so we have recently started the Bereaved/Loss Parents of El Dorado County support group on Facebook, and my blog will start including a bit more about loss and resources for bereaved parents.
Today I want to share some ideas for honoring a baby’s life and death. Miscarriage and other kinds of pregnancy loss are often swept under the rug and kept hush-hush, but when 1 in 4 women experience this type of loss, it’s important for us to regard their journey as real and valid. One way we can validate is by doing something ceremonious, a celebration of sorts. Here is a compilation of ideas for honoring the (very real) life & death of a baby:
- Mother Blessings
Mother blessings are mother-centric ceremonies that focus on caring for and supporting the mother. During or after a loss, these intimate ceremonies can be a great source of comfort and encouragement for a mother during this time of wild, mixed emotions. There is no right or wrong way to host a mother blessing, but many of these circles are kept small and filled with prayers, readings from different scriptures, poems, and special gifts for the mother. Some other ceremonious ideas include washing the mother’s feet, brushing her hair, or making a flower crown for her head. Feel free to contact me for personalized Mother Blessing planning.
- Write a letter
Pen a love letter to your baby. You can keep this as a memorial, bury it, send it downstream, or do whatever is meaningful to you.
- Plant a tree
Planting a tree, flower, or new plant in your yard or garden can be a beautiful way to memorialize and honor your baby.
- Journal or blog
Creating a blog can be a cathartic way to release your emotions and memorialize your journey. It can also serve to help others experiencing pregnancy or infant loss.
- Utilizing your placenta
I blogged a few weeks ago about ways to honor your placenta; these can also be some beautiful ways to remember your baby.
Do you think these are helpful ideas? Do you have any suggestions? We’d love to hear from you in the comments!